a sitting in the porch soaking in the water drizzle from the torrential rain never felt better =)

often times, people always strive to obtain what they want, and more often than not, the best you can get. its actually all basic human needs, what economists term unlimited wants and needs. but does what an individual want and need actually a fit, or rather right for them? take clothes for example. you see it on mannequins, on other individuals, on the racks, in pictures and what nots and you think... hmm thats very pretty, so you hunt for it, get them in your size, in your hands even, and you head to the fitting room and try it on hoping that it would look as good on you when you first perceived, and at times (or rather more often that not) it just doesnt fit. it may fit very right at a certain part but totally wrong on another. and no matter how much you like it and thinks it will fit if you just put in some effort to somehow make it work, it just wouldnt -assuming no alterations, and most definitely not tailor made- and this, i observed, is life. this happens in all (or most?) aspects of life. with relationships with people,  factor in work, your love hate relationship with life, and like example, clothes :S . so, question is do you change something perfect to suit yourself or do you change yourself to suit that perfect something?
i reckon i am more inclined to change something perfect to suit myself but at times when life gets the better of me, ill reflect and contemplate whether should i myself be the one who should instead change and mould myself into perfection. contradictory? you bet.

summer hols are coming to an end, and i think i am ready to get back to routine and life in exe. i will most definitely miss home, -the people, you know who you are , and food indefinitely- but i guess its about time to not live idly and get back to having to live life on my toes for now. i had one of the best years in year 2 and dont think i will experience the same again. but with (i think) zero expectations, who knows what final year will hold for me?

home is great, i do nothing, i get nagged for doing just that, i ate to my hearts content and expended my waistline like no tomorrow, i spent time with family and got chummier with my nieces and soaked up as much of my good looking baby nephew as i could, i got off my lazy arse and paid penang a visit on a decision made at the eleventh hour, i have few but great catch up and gossip sessions with friends, i soaked up a substantial amount of knowledge, experience and learnt of work responsibilities from my internship and lastly, i peggy chan, did the unbelievable. i baked .


choc brownies, pre-bake. which i thought looked alot yummier than pre-bake.


looking blah but tasted oh so yummylicious. oh i shall refrain from self praising but its a recipe from a friend and if i praise it means im giving her credits for it


cupcakes...






more cupcakes.



ok. kau tim. selamat hari raya peeps =)

i have to stop scribbling my heart mind out on scraps and scraps of random pieces of paper i can get my hands on. its got to stop before they land into places and hands that i dont want them to be. lifes a bitch for no xanga accessibility when you really need to. when you really have to. when you really want to.

maybe its time to consider putting pen on paper instead of fingers on keyboard. where i can start scribbling my inner thoughts as i am feeling instead of putting them on hold to when i get xanga access and not feel like writing anymore.yes, life is such. and this, dear people, is my -at times cryptic- sanctuary.

pegsy will be back shortly =)

i HATE statistics and econometrics with ALL MY HEART.

and all i want to do now is scream and shout and hurt myself so bad because i refuse to let it get to me instead.

i detest it so very much its come to the point where nothing i read or do is registering in my head anymore.

and because of that, i am going to honestly properly look at it until tomorrow and dump it aside until after mandarin paper. im so sorry daddy. and mummy. ive tried. i dont want to come off sounding like ive given up.
ive not. i am still trying. but i guess just not as much as i should or want to.