its mid-may now and we are still experiencing bad english weather (read: rain + cold). where is summer? where is the sun? where is the warmth? here i am freezing to my bones past couple of days. im even back to wearing socks to bed!
work hasnt been going great. i can say that i am almost done with going through all notes from lectures -except for mandarin where i still have yet to prepare anything- but how much excatly can i remember? erm... 30%?! both macro and stats are a pain to do revision on
. i cannot screw up either of them cos i need to maintain my grades. which by the look of it now is below what i am aiming for.
you know when they say people stop calculating and remembering their age after they have passed a certain age say, 21? i can attest to it that its unfortunately, true. (diversion: shit, niece just called me ku che (aunt). f this shit) see what i mean now?! right, so back to my rambling. was having a chat with a friend some time ago about a topic i cannot quite remember but it was something along the lines of 'in the past...' and i actually stopped, paused, and calculated how old i am now. yes, story of my life. the thing is, its like somewhere inside me thinks i just turned 21. i dont think i have came to live my live as a 21 or 22 year old and soon im gonna go one up and will still wonder where did my past 2 years go? question is, do we just naturally not keep tabs on our age as we age (in my case as i turned 21) or is it because our brains just refuse to remember? i believe there is a subtle difference to both. i can foresee myself keeping myself in check only when i turn the big 3-0. or maybe 27? heck thats like 4 years from now. and what is 4 years? time flies and before i know it with the snap of my fingers i am there. doing what? i do not want to know because the way i am looking at things now its doesnt seem too great. will i be missing that something or will it be in my hands? we shall find out soon. and how can someone just 10 yrs younger than me call me an aunt?! i shudder at that very thought. not that i never knew my position in the family but putting a term above che che is just something i cannot handle right now. probably never?
photo taken in dec 2004 with above said niece and sis.
look at her then. look at me now.
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