i HATE statistics and econometrics with ALL MY HEART.

and all i want to do now is scream and shout and hurt myself so bad because i refuse to let it get to me instead.

i detest it so very much its come to the point where nothing i read or do is registering in my head anymore.

and because of that, i am going to honestly properly look at it until tomorrow and dump it aside until after mandarin paper. im so sorry daddy. and mummy. ive tried. i dont want to come off sounding like ive given up.
ive not. i am still trying. but i guess just not as much as i should or want to.

its mid-may now and we are still experiencing bad english weather (read: rain + cold). where is summer? where is the sun? where is the warmth? here i am freezing to my bones past couple of days. im even back to wearing socks to bed!

work hasnt been going great. i can say that i am almost done with going through all notes from lectures -except for mandarin where i still have yet to prepare anything- but how much excatly can i remember? erm... 30%?! both macro and stats are a pain to do revision on . i cannot screw up either of them cos i need to maintain my grades. which by the look of it now is below what i am aiming for.

you know when they say people stop calculating and remembering their age after they have passed a certain age say, 21? i can attest to it that its unfortunately, true. (diversion: shit, niece just called me ku che (aunt). f this shit) see what i mean now?! right, so back to my rambling. was having a chat with a friend some time ago about a topic i cannot quite remember but it was something along the lines of 'in the past...' and i actually stopped, paused, and calculated how old i am now. yes, story of my life. the thing is, its like somewhere inside me thinks i just turned 21. i dont think i have came to live my live as a 21 or 22 year old and soon im gonna go one up and will still wonder where did my past 2 years go? question is, do we just naturally not keep tabs on our age as we age (in my case as i turned 21) or is it because our brains just refuse to remember? i believe there is a subtle difference to both. i can foresee myself keeping myself in check only when i turn the big 3-0. or maybe 27? heck thats like 4 years from now. and what is 4 years? time flies and before i know it with the snap of my fingers i am there. doing what? i do not want to know because the way i am looking at things now its doesnt seem too great. will i be missing that something or will it be in my hands? we shall find out soon. and how can someone just 10 yrs younger than me call me an aunt?! i shudder at that very thought. not that i never knew my position in the family but putting a term above che che is just something i cannot handle right now. probably never?


photo taken in dec 2004 with above said niece and sis.
look at her then. look at me now.

embarassment is when your housemates tell you that they think you sing well and sound happy amidst the stress. omg. i should really tone down with the sing songy mood. but honestly speaking, how can you when you are listening to one song singing about silly romeo and juliet and another too happy talking about ridding yourself of vanities and just go with the season?

ive not been up to much lately. skiving lecs here and there and waking up late is definitely the most uninteresting to talk about. but pretty much that about it. hence a nice long weekend .

im back to doing what i used to do best avoiding study time lately, blog reading. its interesting to catch up with blog that i havent visited in ages. some good, mostly bad. good read for the day. it is a good piece. most things i can relate to. ive even gone through and is going through the four phases mentioned. mind you, not all four at the same time. but definitely a been there done that and still going through sticky situations. heck, even most of the questions the author posed were the ones ive always had running in my head when i go through reflection period. not only reflection period but times when i see, read, or hear about them. humans are complicated enough but made even more so by what we call emotions. at times i lie to friends and even myself at times saying that enough is enough. its time to put a close to it. but you know, until you know the very true reason, its just not possible to have a true closure. some people understands, but mostly dont. its never just good enough to say ive had enough of this shit and therefore you can fuck off. things are always, always easier said than done.

last part of our venice adventure was spent in murano. where all guide books suggests a visit to one of the many glass making factory in this island made famous by its glass produce. but guess what?! its all a hoax! we never saw any furnaces and the closest to seeing the making of those famous glasses was in this tiny shop where the guy was melting the glass to shape into a rectangle to be part of a necklace! so potong stim. oh and also another shop where the guy was shaping the glass into a horse... sien. i wanted to see some glass blowing .

 
floating fruit stall?

 
omg the moment i saw it, it reminded me alot of snoopy, a friend's dog
i miss you alot too snoopy! i will come back and erm, carry you if you promise to stop licking me toes!





 
the back of Basilica dei Santi Maria e Donato.
this facade is so (insert adjective) it looks.... fake. the moment i saw it i thought it came straight out of an architecture model!


sticking out like a sore thumb


i always wondered and still wondering how is hanging the clothes in the middle of the line possible... without a tall ladder of course 



 
at one of the many vaporetto stops awaiting the arrival of a vaporetto to head to the train station for florence the very pretty and my favourite city of italy out of the three we visited .

i have to admit, when asked to guess what does the initials of ptb means, potential to be is actually quite a good guess (what more on the second guess! but no its not that word) lol. at least its something that made sense as opposed to purple teddy bear? pink teddy bear? prince teddy bear? hahahaha. panda? please? paranoid?
forgive my divertion, just found it amusing and something i should remember by as time goes by . its amazing what going through my archives do to me.

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back to more photos of venice .
this post will be about those lovely facade of buildings they have.
the colours, those lovely balustraded balconies and windows.




gondola, me, rialto


im just curious what is that hexagon shaped thing in the middle of their many piazzas. a well perhaps?






doesnt the yellow building look tiny like the odd little brother in the midst of all?


in front of the uni near the accademia. if im not wrong they study about the environment...






we were happily bumping around tiny venice when i saw this hotel and had to take some photos cos it really reminded me of a scene in a drama that i really like


hahahahahahaha look at that stupid fake smile! forced until cannot be forced anymore!!
a proper masquerade mask shop btw, but boy, they were pricey!

dont you all agree that life is a masquerade by itself? as much as i hate to admit it but at times i do put on a mask and let life's pretenses work its way into reality.

lazy post i know, but not feeling very inspired lately. toodles